Ok…so remember my Bag Buddy the one that was suuuper lucky to have #2 and #3 combined.  yea well..now hes miserable. Getting up  7-8 times a night to go to the bathroom, clear liquids still, pain, nightmares, and a diaper. Uhm…no. No no no no no. I am so effing happy these days, I am actually kinda mostly sleeping again. I do not want that. I’m freakin out here.  No for real.
I have been SERIOUSLY considering keeping this bag.  WOA WOA REWIND. WUUUUUT?

I do not want this life

I know, right. Me, Jackie, Queen Anti Bag, is HIGHLY considering keeping it. I hate this thing, its gross and ugly, but you know what? I’m happy. I’m healthy (except that I’m fat and weak), and I’m living life again. I’m stoked with the way things are going…and I do  not want to eff that up. There is no way I want that life again.
I mean I read about people a year out who are all “I still have some leakage but everything else is good”. I’m sorry but a leakage here or there out of my bum is NOT OK. Someone tell me its worth it? Someone tell me that it all goes away, or that everyone’s story is not like that. Someone tell me they are just as happy if not happier than when they had the bag.
Tell me that this won’t be a 4 part surgery 1,2,3 to get the Jpouch and #4 to go back to the bag.
All of you newbies out there, FREAKIN out about getting this bag…I was you too, for realises go back and read my blog. And I am TELLING YOU! I am waaaay more terrified of diapers and butt leakage than of this thing. I would rather do this for the rest of my life than worry about shitting my bed.